Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Are You a Teacher?

Maybe it's been a long day, or a long week, or a long 8 months. And you know you've been going to work every day, but you're not sure if you're a zookeeper, a prison warden or a teacher.

I understand how that can happen. I spent a few days in the classroom last year as a substitute teacher, and I have nothing but deference and respect for you. In fact, I have previously recommended we remove our hats to salute a teacher whenever she walks in the room.

So, for Teacher Appreciation Week, I've provided a few indicators based on my limited classroom experience to help you determine if you might be a teacher.

I suspect there are a few REAL teachers who could add to this helpful list. Please do so in the blog comments, or the facebook comments.

You Might be a Teacher


  1. If you’ve ever identified the graffiti artist by the way the words are misspelled, you might be a teacher. 

  1. If you can tell the content of a child’s complaint by the tone with which he says your name, you might be a teacher.

  1. If you have ever looked at a Hershey bar or large pizza and suddenly formulated a lesson plan about fractions, you might be a teacher.

  1. If you’ve ever accidentally used the terms “inappropriate response” or “expected behavior” with your spouse, you might be a teacher.
 
  1. If you’ve ever considered writing a letter of complaint to Dixon and Oriental Trading Company for making pencils that never sharpen, you might be a teacher. 

  1. If you’ve ever thought of creating a facebook fan page for Ticonderoga because they make pencils that actually DO sharpen, you might be a teacher.
 
     7.  If you've ever attended an "Indoor Recess Support Group," you might be a teacher.
 
Teachers, your turn :-)

Update: Levi's first grade teacher and her twin sister added these hilarious tidbits:

If you go to sit in your chair and find it's already taken by a kid "warming it up," you might be a teacher.

If you can sing songs about giant gas balls in space--particularly Uranus, without batting an eye, you might be a teacher.

If you can break into song and dance while teaching addition and subtraction or r-controlled vowels, you might be a teacher.

If you can tell the difference between "I need to go to the bathroom" and "I NEED to go to the bathroom," you might be a teacher.

If a magical drink of water cures a stomach ache, a headache, or even a sliver, you might be a teacher.

If you feel like a rock star every time you go to Wal-Mart because kids are hollering your name, you might be a teacher.

If you correct kids' behavior no matter where you are, you might be a teacher.

If you feel the need to do the "attention clap" at the dinner table, you might be a teacher.

If there are times in those public places you really wish you had your playground whistle, you might be a teacher.

If you have to go hug and talk to at least 4 kids when picking up your own kids, you might be a teacher.

If you've ever walked around sniffing kids for the cause of that "unusual smell," you might be a teacher.

Or if you just say, "does anyone need to go to the bathroom?" after smelling the unusual smell, you might be a teacher.

 If you get more excited about birthday treats than your kids, you might be a teacher!

If you sneak an extra of the really good birthday treats (or am I the only one?), you might be a teacher.
 

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